Zoë Calamity: The last word in little girls.

Zoe’s newest passion is Kai Lan, as in Ni Hao Kai Lan. On the show, there’s always a lesson that’s sung to the same kind of tune each episode.  For example: “If you’re trying something new, and it’s really hard to do, just…. take… it… slow!” or “If you make something new, and a friend copies you, that just means that they really… like it.. too!”.

So today at lunch, I sang Zoe a song along the same lines about eating her lunch.

She said: ” No mama, this is the pizza song. ‘If you have some pizza, you say I eat it!’. She followed that up with, “If you don’t have no pizza, you say, Waaaaaah! I want pizza!’ ”

Wherein she clearly and succinctly captures the pathos of her generation. I’m impressed.

1) So, as a follow up to the last post, today Zoe was playing and I heard her say “double crack!”. I asked, “Zoe, did you just say crack?”. In complete innocence she looked up and said, “No, I say double crack”.  What can you say to that?

2) She just came out of her room riding her huge giraffe stuffed animal that is almost as tall as she is. When I say riding, I mean hopping, because she was straddling it and hopping along with it underneath her, saying “hop. hop. hop” as she went. As she got out to me she said, “See momma? This is my giraffe hopper 3000″. Thank you Wubbzy for introducing the idea of inventions ending in 3000.

3) She just came out again with a stroller full of animals who she introduced as Chips the monkey, Siachips the penguin, Bindas the baby, Bobos the dog, Diadas the gorilla and another name I didn’t catch. Surprisingly, none of them were named Sookie, which is the name she usually goes for.  Now she’s in her room repeating the name Siachips over and over.  It’s eeriely reminiscent of the Asimov story Zero Hour, where the kids are all friends with an alien invader that all of their parents assume is just an imaginary friend……

Little Miss Zoë was just sent to bed without reading time because she used a bad word that she learned from her potty mouthed mother.

What word, you ask?
“Crack”

That’s right, “crack”. She overheard Maryanne say “crap” and started imitating it. Maryanne was trying to get Zoë out of the tub and Z looked at her and with a snarl said “CRACK”!

Pretty funny stuff.

She actually has a history with this. When we told her that she shouldn’t say “crack”, she made up her own word “robock” that she used instead. It’s interesting to see these formative years of vulgarity.

So far Zoë knows 3 types of music: church music, yazz (jazz) and rockenroll. She’s a big fan of Santana. Although, she may think he is related to Santa.

Zoë (in a dramatic drawl): Mommy….I’m sad
Maryanne: It’s ok baby, just don’t make a big deal about it